


Leave it to Krypton

by UniverseNil



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Krypton, Osmosis Learning Module, Phantom Zone, Space Math, The DEO | Department of Extra-Normal Operations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-02-10 03:16:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21453073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UniverseNil/pseuds/UniverseNil
Summary: Agent Danvers fears the worst when she finds Lena Luthor sprawled on the floor of a DEO laboratory.“You sure you’re OK? You’re not acting like yourself, Luthor.”Lena sniffled and wiped at her eyes. “Yes, yes, I promise you, Alex. I’m just fine. It’s just… I figured it out.”
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 12
Kudos: 374





	Leave it to Krypton

Alex Danvers was striding through the hallways of the DEO, just going about her business when she heard the sound. 

Laughter. 

And not the sort of boisterous laughter that a squad of comrades-in-arms might enjoy in their more relaxed moments. Full on, rolling on the floor, uncontrollable hysterics. It was unusual enough that she unholstered her weapon, afraid that an alien laughing sickness had penetrated the DEO’s walls. 

Alex crept down the corridor, using all of her stealth training, and followed the sound to its source. To her surprise, she found herself outside the laboratory where Kara’s pod was kept. She gripped the door handle, quietly counted to three, and opened it. 

She wasn’t sure what she had expected to find, but it sure wasn’t Lena Luthor, sitting on the floor with her back against the laboratory command console. The normally-poised CEO had her face buried in her hands, and was giggling uncontrollably. 

Alex put her weapon away but left the holster unclipped just in case. “Lena, are you all right?” 

Lena looked up at her in shock. Tears were streaming down her face. “Oh, Alex, yes, I’m fine, it’s just—” 

She erupted into hysterics again, unable to speak. Alex was confused; DEO researchers had gone over and over the pod with a fine-toothed comb for more than a decade, and nothing like this had _ever_ happened. Lena had recently been cleared to research it, at Supergirl’s specific request. Maybe her sister’s girlfriend had triggered a heretofore unknown defense mechanism? 

Lena’s laughter was finally slowing, so Alex gave talking another try. She edged closer to Lena, not wanting to spook her. 

“You sure you’re OK? You’re not acting like yourself, Luthor.” 

Lena sniffled and wiped at her eyes. “Yes, yes, I promise you, Alex. I’m just fine. It’s just… _I figured it out._” 

Alex’s eyebrows rose. What could she have discovered about Kara’s pod that would cause this reaction? She sat down next to Lena on the floor to make herself a less threatening figure. First rule of interrogation: establish a camaraderie. 

“Figured _what_ out?” 

Lena giggled again. “Krypton is 27 light years away, right?” 

Alex nodded. “Sure.” 

“And Clark Kent landed in 1979.” 

“Yeah.” 

“And the pod has a FTL drive that makes travel nearly instantaneous, meaning he _left_ Krypton in 1979 as well.” 

Alex was starting to get annoyed. “Luthor, you know that I know all of this already, right?” 

“Just establishing facts. One more: electromagnetic signal transmissions radiate out at light speed.” 

Alex made an OK-yes-get-on-with-it motion. 

“Sorry, sorry. Anyway the pod had a learn-through-osmosis system to prepare Kara and Kal-El for life on Earth. It literally rewired their neural connections.” 

“Right, that’s how Kara showed up functional in English. 24 years of language lessons worked wonders except in the slang department.” 

Lena burst out laughing again. Alex waited not-so-patiently for her to calm down. 

“The training system wasn’t just for language. It was for cultural immersion as well, to help them fit in. And its systems were designed to continue detecting signals from Earth and incorporating them into its informational corpus, though the circuitry wasn’t entirely designed for the weird physics of the phantom zone. It picked things up intermittently until the sensor gave out. And just pumped that information straight into their brains.” 

Alex’s patience had run out. “I get all this, Luthor, but why the fuck are you sprawled on a very dusty laboratory floor laughing your billionaire ass off?” 

“Ever wonder why Kara and Clark are both so instinctively fussy and old fashioned?” 

“Small town upbringings?” 

Lena shook her head. “What’s 1979 minus the 27 years it took for Earth’s radio and television signals to reach Krypton?” 

“1952.” 

She handed Alex a headset and LCD panel. Both were patched into the pod’s systems. She got up and leaned into the pod’s cockpit to press a button on the screen. 

“Brace yourself,” she warned. 

Alex quirked an eyebrow at her and put the headset on. 

*** 

An hour later, Kara Danvers, clad in her Supergirl uniform, followed the sound of laughter back to the laboratory where her pod was kept. Her eyebrows rose when she found her sister and her girlfriend, splitting a pair of earbuds and giggling at the _Leave it to Beaver_ opening credits. 

“Gee whiz, what the heck has you two flipping your wigs?” 

Alex and Lena dissolved in hysterics. 

*** 


End file.
